Interview With A Sissy

Anyone who's been following along with the 'Men In Lingerie' articles will have by now spotted a special group of commenters, males who use female names, who prance and dance about the place looking pretty as can be in frills and lipstick, confusing and beffudling the rest of the world with their antics. As flamboyant as they are, little is really known about this group of men who wear lingerie - the sissy set. In a bid to change this, I interviwed Tonya St. Clair, a self confessed sissy and a great guy.

Tonya, what does being a 'sissy' mean to you?

Some men who wear women's clothes want to go for the full effect and the ability to pass as women. I was at that point when I was in my early twenties and I understand that desire. It's about wanting to be as close to a real woman as possible.

Other men who wear women's clothes seem to want to go for the "over the top" look. i.e. Drag Queens. These seem to be all about the "look at me" part of being a woman.

Sissies in my opinion are like drag queens in that we are interested exaggerating an aspect of being a female. For drag queens it seems to be all about exaggerating the glamorous. For sissies it's about exaggerating the soft and frilly parts of being a woman.

To me it's an expression of the submissive side of my personality mixed in with my love of cross dressing. It's about reveling in all things frilly and soft and sweet smelling. It's about the joy of throwing off the work-a-day world and slipping in to my own fantasy world of pink satin and ruffles.

Now obviously some of that is a cross over from cross dressing, but I think of it like this:

I've made some generalizations here but I think you get the idea.

Does being a sissy mean that you are gay or bisexual?

I don't think that being a sissy has anything to do with being straight or gay. It's really about what I find emotionally satisfying. Not to say that being a sissy isn't about sex, but it's different than what bits and parts I'm interested in. If I'm feeling emotionally satisfied only then do I feel able to to be sexually satisfied. And that is true no matter who is sharing my bed.

If you're wondering I classify myself as omnisexual. Currently I'm 90% hetero and 10% homo, but those numbers have flexed (and certainly will flex again) over the years. I mention that only as statistical data. :-)

Does being a sissy mean that you are submissive?

Yes, I would certainly label myself a submissive. As I referenced above, being a sissy is where my submissive side and my cross dressing overlap.

Once again I think there are different flavors of submissive just as there are different flavors of cross dressers. For me it's about being overseen/controlled by a matriarchal figure; a mother, an aunt, etc.

Do you think sissys make good husbands and boyfriends?

I guess that really depends on the chemistry of the relationship as a whole. I know that for me and my wife it works. If there is some sort of scale between submissive and dominance then I would guess that my wife is only as far on to the dom side as I am on to the sub side. But for us that stays compartmentalized to the bedroom.

Just like cross dressing in general, the depth to which one can explore one's sissy-ness really varies with their partner and respecting their boundaries.

What separates a sissy from just a guy who wears lingerie sometimes because he likes it?

Again, I discussed the answer somewhat in my first answer. Being a sissy is not just about wearing lingerie because it's fun; it's about the exaggeration of the most feminine aspects of being a woman.