Beating The Sales - How He Got His Lingerie, And How You Can Get Yours

By Mr Stocking X

I got new lingerie this Christmas, well, actually this New Year. Perhaps I'm a little on the cheap side, but it's a great time for sales, as my wife keeps on telling me. She dragged me along to half a dozen of the things of course, like she does every year. I'm the chief bag holder, parcel carrier, and chair waiter. I don't know why women feel the urge to rush into every store they see and browse through each and every item on display with the enthusiasm of an archaeologist uncovering some dead Egyptian's tomb, but it's pretty evident that there is some charm there for them that I'm missing.

This year, I made the trip a little more interesting for myself by nipping off whilst she was in the changing room, and exploring the lingerie section. I'd been tempted to do this for ages, after all, it's like some cruel torture being forced to sit and wait and comment on twenty dresses that look much the same whilst just a few yards away lie fields of lacy bras, shiny panties, and dreamy stockings. It's just not fair on a man.


So this year, after several hours of shopping, inane questions, and the purchasing of several items I am quite sure will only end up gracing the upper reaches of the closet for a year or two before she digs them out and donates them to charity, I snuck over into heaven and had a lovely time looking at all the lingerie.

It's a perfect ruse you see, you're carrying the wife's handbag, half a dozen parcels, and you have the haggard look of a husband that has already seen more shopping than he wants to see in a lifetime. Nobody batted an eye, in fact, the salesgirl thought I was being romantic as I picked out the hottest red and black lace bra and panty set, and hastily paid for it before my wife's cries for me to assess her latest outfit became too shrill.


Over the course of the rest of the day I also picked up several pairs of stockings, an incredible red lace garter belt and thong, and some crotchless panties!

For the first time in years I left the annual shop-a-thon with a smile on my face, and a few things for me tucked away amongst the mountains of rubbish we are compelled to cart home each year.